Since Julie broke up with me, I have done everything in my power to forget about her, yet not one day has ever gone by where I have not thought about her at least once.  I still hate her.  I still don’t take back any of the terrible things I have said to her.  I still don’t think that she deserves any bit of happiness that she may have.  I still miss her.

Last night was the first time in a long time that I actually had a dream and remembered it.  Of course it had to be about her. It was like nothing had ever happened.  Everything was just the same as it was before, at least for me anyway.  I don’t know if she was ever really happy with me or not.  Our minds play evil tricks on us, throwing us into the past as if it were the present, and then just as quickly stealing it away again.

I’m perfectly fine almost all of the time.  Whenever I start to think, I just tell myself how much I hate her and how much she hates me (in order to do what she did) and shake my head until the next time it starts to bother me.  I don’t know why but last night I started to think about her, and couldn’t shake it, and then had the dream.  I couldn’t even shake it all day today.  Now, here I am typing about her, almost falling apart like a complete fucking retard.  Everyone told me that time would be the key.  Well, time has gone by, it’s still going by, and as I said before, “Here I am writing about it” again back at square one (Not sure if I ever left).